Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Grow Up.

It's funny how... almost seven years after I graduated high school, I could still let someone from high schools' rude comment to me today make me a little nuts for a few minutes.

Arggh. I thought I had gotten past that. And dang it, I thought people would have grown up by now. I thought that by being in graduate school, having a great family, and a wonderful man, I was passed any insecurities and frailties that plagued me in middle school and high school. But today, I felt those buttons get pushed. And I felt them perhaps even more than I ever did in high school. I'm honestly not sure I cared as much then as I did today.

I talked to Handsome afterwards and kept myself from crying, though at moments on the way home from the encounter I had been tempted and had my grandmother not been in the car, I might have cried to my sweet mom. Anyway, Handsome said it doesn't matter now. He reminded me that I'm his #1 and he is mine and THAT is what matters. And he is right. Gosh dang if the Lord didn't spoil me giving me a solid man like him! And for holding me up in my insecurity that follows me some seven years after graduation. So apparently I'm still growing up and becoming comfortable in my own skin. Maybe someday they will too! But if not, I will hopefully be secure enough for it not to bother me.

But at this rate...I'm MOST definitely NOT going to our ten year reunion. :)...It's not like I don't still see the people I care about from high school anyway.


Kelley and Rhett said...

grrr....high school was really hard! I never fit in and I look back, and I'm glad I didn't....I got to be who I thought I wanted to be...

I'm sorry you had a rough day!

S. said...

there is not ONE person I want to see from high school. you are not alone. don't worry. :)

Cowgirl said...

This summer would be my ten year high school reunion, and while I've kept touch with a few people with Christmas cards and an occassional email, I really have no desire to go back to high school see them all again!

I've heard too, that ten year class reunions are almost always so horrible, all about who's making the most money, etc. I'm hoping that when the 20 year comes around I'll be in a better mood about it.

So you're so not alone with your feelings!
~Cowgirl in the City