I Quit My Blog.

  Unintentionally, of course.   Life just got busy the way it does sometimes.  You see, Handsome and I have had a pretty different fall this fall. In some ways good and in some ways just flat out different than ever before.
For instance, I have never had a job where I worked forty (and sometimes plus) hours in a week. 
We joined a gym and I have never been a member of a gym.
These changes alone have been massive for this little Mrs. and I just haven't had energy or time at night to write messages to you.  And I most certainly am not busy writing in the day.
So while you were reading and writing, I was watching re-runs of Dawson's Creek and Felicity (courtesy of Handsome for my birthday).   And I was working out and occassionally cooking.  But mostly just really enjoying the hours of awake time that I get with Handsome, away from the stresses of work.
I would like to say for certain that I'll be here and I'll be writing, but I just can't be sure of it.  And I don't want to get anyone's expectations up, just to disappoint them later on.  But when I feel inspired, or have some extra time, or something special to say: then I will be here. And I will be writing. 
Because sheeeeeesh: I have to get adjusted to my working life at some point, right?  I'll hopefully be here and hopefully still be writing, 

Ten Things I Said While Handsome Was Watching Football. (aka Things I Would Tweet If I Had Twitter).

(aka The Conversations I Had With Myself During SNF (Sunday Night Football)).

Today is the first time I ever seriously considered Lasik: I was trying to find my laptop charger, realized my eyes hurt, and hurried to get my contacts out before my computer died!

Stop on this channel! I want to know what show it is. Oh, amazing race? I hate that show, but the place looks cool. Yeah, somewhere in the NW I guess. 

I'm not into the outfits this year. Last years vintage styled ones were better.

Honey, please don't make me go to work tomorrow. 

We totally should have stopped for donuts for dessert on the way home.

Today I decided what to buy you for Christmas. And I'm not telling you what it is. 

Do you think people actually like pumpkin spice lattes or do they just trick themselves into it, because its cool to say you like it in the fall. 

I wonder if Rhett is watching his man crush (Favre) right now. ... Yes, I will ask Kelley!

Did you know that my blogger situation is rough, because it doesn't post when I schedule it to? It just leaves my blog empty and makes me look like a slacker!

We totally match right now wearing gray hoodies! Good thing we don't go out like this. People would think we have issues. 

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I'm here. And I'm still writing, 

If You Give a Wife A Zappos Card...

Handsome just left to go running at the gym. He left me at home with my computer. And with my credit card. And with my birthday swiftly approaching...  

 

Naya.

Ugg.

 

Naya.

Banana Republic 

So... what? A little damage was done?  It's certainly not anything that we can't live through! .....

I'm totally kidding. But if I had unlimited funds and closet space (and there weren't hungry children in the world or people that needed their souls to be saved) then maybe, just maybe I would want to indulge myself in all of these fun fall shoes! 
A girl can dream can't she?

I'm here. And I'm still writing,

Full(y) Changing.

I'm coming to you from my living room on Sunday evening. Handsome sits on the couch watching Sunday night football. I'm breathing in the crisp cool air and cozyed up in my favorite fleece (which I've been wearing all spring and summer too because I like it). I'm yawning and thinking socks would comfort my toes, but I haven't sat with still with my computer in a long time so I think I'll just stay right here.
Our weekend was full. And actually our lives have been so full lately.  Full of love, of thinking, of activity. Full of family and of friends.  So full, that I didn't even remember to say goodbye before I took a pause from blog for life.  It is so fun being out of school. I thought working forty hour weeks would be more exhausting than school was...and in some ways it is! Right now its a bit more draining, but I think in ways that I will grow accustomed to soon. In most ways it is such a joy being completely free of thinking-stress on the weekends and when I watch the tele with my man on weeknights. A bit of exercising, a few fun nights with friends, laundry and sleep have been filling up my waking-non-working hours. I have barely been reading or cooking (much to the man's dismay), but maybe soon this workin-life will feel more normal than it has so far.  It is invigorating to start a new chapter and to acclimate to it, even if I seem to do so a bit slowly. I'm thrilled that the weather is crisp and a new season (in more ways than one) is beginning. 
I'm still here. And I'm still writing,

How I Managed to Drag My Husband Out of the Woods.

Every so often Handsome or I get this little tickle that makes us want to modify our surroundings. He will likely argue with the above statement, so I'll just claim it for myself: Sometimes I want to redecorate a bit!

Seeing as we rent our little abode and have signed on the line to never crayola the walls with shades of Indigo or Razzmatazz or Wild Blue Yonder, we are stuck with a nice shade of Almond on all of our walls.

Thusly, the redecorating usually involves rearranging the furniture or the wall hangings or occasionally a change of fabric.

Handsome inherited the Al Borlin-esque couch prior to our marriage and he decided that sharing it with me would be quite a lovely wedding gift! Seeing as I had no couch of my own, and the papasan only seats one bum (literally or figuratively) I gladly accepted his gracious gift. 

See below: 

Now I was certainly a fan of Home Improvement in the glory days of television broadcasting, but since moving in with the husband I have wanted to change cover things up a bit. But seeing as marriage is all about compromise and being a newly-wedded bride with all sorts of hopes to be the best wife ever, I never pushed the issue too much because a certain husband of mine thinks "covers" are umm, how should we say it?, tacky. ugly. cheap-looking. and I could go on.

So I have been living happily in a rustic Oregon cabin in the year 1991 for approximately two years. Until last Saturday night when Handsome decided that our throw pillows have not been adequately supporting his neck. So we left the wooded forrest and headed into town like every other childless couple can freely do on Saturday night and we ventured into another kind of frrest: a forest of throw pillows at stores like Pier One and Tar-jeh and Linens-n-Things. 

And once we reach a clearing, after much hiking and debating and after hitting a few switchbacks, we bought a cover.  We took it home and immediately blanketed Al Borlin with our Almond canvas colored purchase. 

Much to our dismay, it was hideous, but Handsome is not one to give up quickly. So within two or so days we had scoured all of our reasonable options in our city and come across a rich chocolately possibility. 

See below: 

 

If you know me at all, you know I won't turn down chocolate. But I'm so glad that Handsome was open to the change, because I'm quite pleased with our fix. It didn't break the bank. We didn't buy new furniture that might not work in a new place when (and if) we ever decide to move. Both of us are happy. And we got new pillows too. 

Proving, that compromise and patience is key to a successful marriage. And a little bit of chocolate never hurt anyone.

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I'm here. And I'm still writing,

 

Post. Script. Please forgive the lighting in the before photograph. I took the photo and didn't review it before we had already covered the couch. While I'm certain that Handsome would be happy to remove the cover so I could get a better photo, I decided that I would prefer to wait and use a labor request for a more difficult or necessary project. I knew you would understand.

Listed Without Method.

1. We joined a gym... and I just love having the opportunity to go! This is the first time I have ever really been a gym member (other than in college or paying for pool use for swim team as a child) and so far, it is one of the best decisions we have made. I haven't been brave enough to try a class yet, but one of these days I'll get in there. I'm especially interested in the spin classes and the cardio/weights classes.

2. I'm craving s'mores. But I want the campfire part and sweaters to go with! On the grill or on the stove just doesn't sound appealing!

3. The fall clothes: jackets and boots, sweaters and jeans are really looking nice! This year I won't need as many casual clothes (because of my work dress code), so of course that is what looks the best to me at the stores.

4. I'm having nightmares about my job! Last night I dreamed that I started to get in the shower at the office at 6:45 a..m. thinking I would have enough time to get ready and then realizing everyone was congregating because we were supposed to be there and ready at 7! It was an awfully stinky way to start the first day on job.

5. A yogurt bar place recently opened near our home. We had been to Peachwave before and not been too excited about it. I convinced begged and pleaded with Handsome to go with me to try it and he reluctantly agreed. And I'm happy to say we were both pleased!

6. I'm in the process of closet purging (like as I type). Most of my code appropriate clothing lives in an armoir in one room of our house and most of my (former) daily clothes live in the closet in our guest room. I'm purging that closet and rearranging to try and fit my work clothes in my closet with my casual clothes such that everything will cohabitate peacefully. Thus, (hopefully) making it easier to create outfits in the early mornings.

7. I can't shop online unless I'm looking for a specific piece (like I saw it in the store and want to order it now). I guess I don't have the patience.  Catalogs still work for me, but I just can't get into this clicking from one page to the next to the next while every image loads. And then having to open up specific pages for each of the items I might be interested in! Ahhhh. It's enough to drive a girl batty.

8. I also can't get into ballet flats as proper footwear. For one, my feet get cold and two, I don't like the back bottoms of my pants to fray. But dang they are cute on others and boy oh boy do I feel like a frump walking around in clogs!

9. I really wish I was on vacation. Handsome and I had the BEST time last month and I am just smiling as I sit here thinking about it.

10. I never updated you, but my hard drive was wrecked. I lost a little bit of data, but nothing irreplaceable or devastating. My warranty on the computer was out, but somehow! remarkably! my hard drive was still under warranty. So they replaced it on the spot and since then I've had my little mac back and life is good!

I'm here. And I'm still writing,

Big News!

So earlier this summer I was studying a bit, ahem a lot, for this one test I had to take to make myself employable and licensable in the field I just got a degree. I took the test and haven't thought too much about it since then, except for the occasional nightmare about being late(after the fact is weird I know!) and every so often during a conversation with friends who also took it.  After one such conversation, I was informed  of the average number of days to get results. The informant also clued me in to the fact that we were FOUR days from that magic number. I had a couple momentary freak outs in the next three days.
And then I woke up on that magic number day, got my coffee, went shoe shopping and started to run a few errands before I realized that the AVERAGE number of days between the test and the results had  passed. That day and any day after was fair game to receive the envelope in the mail...Eeeek! (I honestly can't believe I had forgotten when I woke up that morning, but it allowed me some very quiet uninterrupted shoe shopping time before the crowds hit the stores).   As soon as I realized it could be the day, I prayed to the Lord! I asked for calmness and that I could drive myself safely and also that I would be able to look at my results (if we had them) before any friends called to inquire as to my status.
I raced home in my car. Calmly opened my envelope and....good news! I passed!! And thankfully no one had called yet! I immediately called my husband and parents to share the good news. I guess this means that I am now officially employable and a grown-up (well, after my first pay-check I guess) and all of that!  Thanks for sticking it out with me!  I'm here. And I'm still writing,

  No more tests. No more books. No more teachers, umm I hadn't gotten a dirty look from a teacher since probably freshman year of high school when I might have gotten in trouble once or twice for chatting (verbally that is, no IMing in class for me!)

Hairstyles of the Young Professional.

This is my hair.

It is long, wavy and has been making me crazy all summer. It takes a while to fix and it feels hot. I wash it every couple of days, usually blow it dry and run a straightening iron through it. If I don't sweat or put it back that first day it usually looks decent for a few days, but when it comes time to wash it again... I delay and delay and delay because I don't like working on it!
The day I took that picture above was a day that I had let it air dry and then used a curling iron to tame it. I took that photo to send to Handsome so he could tell me if I looked ridiculous or not. I liked it, but that took a good portion of my day too and... I can't wash my hair every single day because its way too dry for that kind of abuse.
  I have been in the process of growing my hair out since 2004. I cut it to almost chin length that year in the spring and while I liked it for a little while, I cringe when I see photos from that time period and I basically have told all of my hair stylists since that time that I would like it to grow or I would not like to lose much length if possible and thus, have probably never lost more that 2 inches at a cutting since '04.

But... I just graduated from school and I'm soon to enter the "professional grown up" world. This payday situation and the fact that I have been mostly irritated with my hair  (and the way it looks in photos) for the past six months has brought me to googling hairstyles in all of the time that I have been on the computer lately.

I think I am ready for a change. Maybe not of the pixie or chin length variety, but a little something lighter, easier to handle and a bit more polished if you will.  A little something that doesn't take so long to fix that I feel like I don't want to work out when my hair looks good, thusly contributing to the strong distaste for photos of self?
 What do you think?  Should I stick with it a little longer and see if this is a fleeting desire or should I go for a new look? ...a la LC?   

Or maybe Gwenny?

Or Claire?

I'm here. And I'm still writing,

So Many Ideas, So Little .... Um, Skill?

Around the time I was in the last study crunch before my exam, I experienced a little computer issue. Some noises started happening, and I force quit the machine and tried to use the cd's and internet directions on correcting the problem, but to no (personal) avail.

My husband offered to help me out by taking it in and seeing what could be done, but it is my computer and I was with it when the problem started and I didn't want to spend any more time addressing it pre-test, nor did I want him to have to be the bearer of bad news on days when I was close enough to an anxiety attack without bad news. I just figured that such things could not be good for our relationship.  So I delayed in taking it. And while I have had access to a substitute computer for sometime, I am unfortunately running out of time with it. Thus, I am quickly approaching a place where I have no choice but to go in. Probably good for me to have that kind of pressure!   I have been procrastinating with the repair situation, because I'm nervous about the results.I have already played through all the scenarios and I can't imagine a good one. I picture loosing things I hadn't backed up recently (which is some) or having to get a new computer (because who wants to spend the money) or really just being told I'm dumb because I didn't know how to fix something simple myself. But the point I'm trying to make has nothing to do with garnering sympathy for the technical issues with my sweet little Mac buddy, but more of an informative and complaint with the computer I am using. (And while I'm glad I have internet access, I still have complaints!).  For instance, I do not know how to get to photos I have uploaded or to get them into blogger.  Every time I start a post or reading something, I get an update notice and then Windows proceeds to count down the seconds until I'm kicked off.  It updates so frequently I think, that it makes me not want to get onto the computer at all because I usually spend more time updating and virus protecting or scanning that I do with what I came to accomplish. .... and thus, a combination of these things (added to a little neck strain issue I often experience with any laptop) keeps me off the computer and off the blog. But my husband and maybe the rest of the world will be so proud to find out that I made an appointment and am taking my old laptop in today for a diagnosis (only a mere month after the occurrence that has threatened its life and my blogging existence). I'll keep you posted on that situation and in the meantime, will try to learn how to steal photos of celebrities and paste them into my blog so I can compose a post I have been wanting to write for sometime. Hope you have a fabulous Monday. I'm here. And (I guess you could say) I'm (sort of) writing,

post. script. (Oh, and if you are worried about my neck, know that I have another keyboard I can plug in if necessary that is ergonomic and helps the siutation... but restrains me to the table and desk area of the home which are neither very exciting nor creativity inducing.)

Whoops!

Hello. I just returned from a spontaneous week-long trip with the Mr. to celebrate our anniversary, his birthday, and my finishing of that test. We had talked about going and made tentative plans, but didn't book a hotel or schedule anything specific and even talked about not going at this point.
But last Monday he suprised me by saying, "Pack up, we're going on a trip."  And I can tell you it was a fabulous rejuvenating time! I have yet to upload photos, but these are some highlights:  

We golfed, or technically he golfed and I rode and walked along.

 

We rode bikes on a lake trail and ate dinner overlooking sunset on the lake.

 

We went to a baseball game last minute and got to it pretty near home plate.

We had many delicious dinners and a few delectable desserts.

 

We had fun laughing together in the car and thankfully he drove most of the journey.

 

We shopped a little bit.

 

And saw some family one afternoon.

 

 

I didn't check email, read blogs, or write any posts while we were gone, so I have some catching up to do. Life sometimes interrupts blogging and I think it is a very good thing because all together this trip was some of the most fun Handsome and I have had together. We are both glad to be home, but we made some really good memories.

I have lunch planned with my future employer and some of the people that work with her. I'm excited about it but a little nervous as well, so I'm off to shower and get ready.

 

Have a lovely day.

 

I'm here and I'm still writing,

The Longest Day of Cooking of My Life Thus Far. Part One.

or, yet another detour on the long road to domestication. Or, isn't it true: pride cometh before the fall. I'm not even sure where to begin this post. I had illusions of grandeur apparently when I set out. I was going to share pictures of my perfectly executed, gorgeous prepared meal to take to my friend who recently had a baby. But alas, I have no photos.  And I didn't have a salad and I didn't wrap the gift either. Back Story:  You see, I missed my friends baby shower. Because I was super selfish all summer studying for that test and I have felt like a jerk, especially after she and her pregnant self and her husband found the time to attend my graduation party. And out of my shame, I didn't rsvp or email or call when I missed the shower.  Her baby was due on my man's birthday and I figured he would make his appearance right around his due date. But he came early. And spent some time in the NICU and I didn't even know about it. Umm, because I am not on facebook. Oh, and because I missed the shower. So my friend emailed me the day after my test was over to let me know her beautiful son had come into the world. I promptly called her and told her I would really like to bring them dinner and spend some time with her. And she graciously accepted! So I planned a meal on Tuesday. I decided on a less seasoned version of chicken spaghetti for a number of reasons:  1. I have experience making it.2. It's simple.3. It reheats / freezes and reheats well even for a person who does not like leftovers.4. Chicken is neutral and one of the things they eat.5. Pasta is comfort food. They have had a lot of stress.6. It's Handsome's favorite. I think it is rather delicious, too. And I found a tasty recipe for desert as well. Something I hadn't ever tried before, but thought it looked simple enough. So I scoured our cabinets and drawers, compared to the recipes, and wrote a list. I wanted to shop Tuesday evening, but I was tired. So it didn't happen.  But I woke up early and set out to the grocery store. I intentionally went to one of the stores a little farther from our house, because I just knew that there was a better chance that they would have all of the ingredients I needed and thus, would simplify the day even farther.  (Part Dos coming next week).  

To Do To Day.

In an effort to keep myself motivated and on track, I'm posting my to do list. I have a strong desire to sit and read for the majority of the day (and maybe throw in a shopping trip if I have a desire to get out of my sweatpants) but I'm resisting the urges and trying to keep myself honest. There are a number of things that must be done and I figure sooner is probably better than later. So, these are the things I have lined up for the day: 1. Clean house. It's been far too long. And Handsome has picked up my slack, so it's time I say thank you to him and get things going. 2. Laundry. A continual must. All of my cute clothes are dirty, hence the sweats. 3. Write thank you cards. I have a number of people who went out of their way to make me feel loved, appreciated, cared for and prayed for while I was studying this summer. It is only right that I let them know of my appreciation. 4. Make an Appointment with a genius. My little Mac is having an issue and I need to take it in. I'm uncertain of the results, which is part of the reason for delay. But I must face the situation, so I'll make an appointment and see when I can find my way to a Mac store.   Nothing much and nothing very exciting, but I suppose that it how most day to day life is. Thanks for letting me use this space to stay accountable. I'm here. And I'm still writing,

Goodbye, July. Hello, August!

First off, you all are so fabulous! I'm so glad to have this community to seek advice from (or from whom to seek advice :) !! ). Thank you for your suggestions. I have some ideas stewing and think I'll be okay for this go around. And I will definitely be experimenting on Handsome with other recipes for my other new Mom friends and then will have a full arsenal of recipes to whip out.  So. How are you? I'm doing fantabulous if case you were wondering. I finished "testing" late last week and I have been relishing the period of rest that has been granted me. I won't have any results for weeks to come, but I'm okay with the uncertainty of it at this point and am just trying to enjoy my life, my husband, and my new found freedom. A few things have happened while I have (sort of) been on hiatus (for like the month of July).  1. I got a job!! It is something I'm very excited about. It came about fairly quickly and we finally got around to telling our real life people, so I feel comfortable sharing the fact of it on the blog. It is an opportunity I had thought had passed in September and October when most people were matched, but do to some odd circumstances, a spot opened up. And I jumped on it. And the Lord once again reminded me and Handsome how it has been in His hands all along. I'm really looking forward to the type of work I will be doing and count this as a huge blessing. I'm actually really excited about beginning a career in this field now.  2. I resumed working out (for the umm, like ninth time this year). I have a solid six weeks to get into some good habits and routine and I'm so looking forward to it. Yesterday evening Handsome and I got to go for a little ride. Some of it was uphill and into the wind. Good burn. I am actually hoping that I can feel it in a few days. 3. I finished this lovely book,   hopped on Amazon to get what I thought was the second part, only to be disappointed that it won't be out until September. I had heard (and relied in my heart) that it would be out in July. Nevertheless, I loved the first part. If you haven't purchased it, order it now. Or in September when you can enjoy them one right after the other.   4. We spent another weekend at home with the families. I only saw his parents and mine. He saw his brothers family and grandma as well as the parents. It was very pleasant to chat and visit and eat together. I realized I had not probably given full focus to any familial chat in some time and I really enjoyed it. My parents are in the middle of a remodel so it was exciting to see how things were changing in their home and how thrilled they are to be able to get to do something new. So I guess that is really only four things that have occurred up until now, but more things are coming. August is a celebratory month for our families and I couldn't be more excited about it.

I have intentions to keep you posted. Until then I'll be looking for a good book or two or seven to read (suggestions are welcome) and I'll be here. And I'll be writing, 

Help! The Momma is Hungry.

Hi any readers that are still around.  How are you? Can you help me with something? If you have been a new mom, what were some of the best dishes or most helpful meals that people brought to you? Of if maybe you are just a thoughtful friend who has taken meals to new parents, you can share your go-to dish. I have only done this once. And I took a modified Chicken Spaghetti.

I'm on a mission. Taking a meal to a friend tomorrow. So...if you have any ideas (that won't break the bank) and that you would be willing to share I would appreciate it.  I'm back. I'm here. And I'm still writing,  

You Know, Knew and Have Known.

 Even before I even knew that I would be on this path and sitting in this room, you have been with me. You have known. You have known from the day I started Kindegarten that today would be the day. You have known what the testing center would look like and by whom I would sit.   You have known the topics. You have ordered the questions.   You know the people that wrote them and you already know who will grade my answers. You know where I will struggle, where my confidence will be good and when I will tire. You have worked out the details.  You have directed my steps.  In each hour  of studying, in each class that I have taken, in each and every moment of each and every day, you have had a plan that is good for me.  You have encouraged me through my husband's vocal prayers over me.  You gave him the words to speak that would most touch my heart.  You encouraged me through messages from my mom, and from his. You provided a friend who has been through this very thing to offer support and others with whom I have commiserated and learned much in the last six weeks. You have been with me and made yourself known continually during this period of concentrated preparation. I believe I am prepared for what I will see, because you were with me as I divided my time. You directed my steps. I think on the words, Your Word, that is tucked away in my heart: Your burden is easy, your yoke is light.  You are an anchor for my soul.  You are a calm in this storm. You rejoice over me, even today, with singing from the heavens. You quiet me now. In this very moment and in this very room. You are delighted in me.
You are mighty and so much more powerful than all my earthly fears and doubts. You are with me, Lord God: today and unto the end of the age. With joy and love, peace and singing, I'm here. And I thank you that I'm writing, 

The Irritants Have Taken Residence.

So, not only am I losing my mind, but the littlest tiniest things are starting to bother me: See e.g.:  1. There are a LOT of walkers in our neighborhood. No problem. Except when its mom’s walking on the wrong side of the street with their strollers. Ride with. Walk against. Isn’t that the rule? 2. It is very hot in our house. Hot, sticky. Blah. But when I head out to air conditioned buildings they are overcompensating and I get so cold that I can’t feel my nose and it starts running. The temperature variations between my house, most places, and outside could make any normal person sick. How much easier this could happen to me and my tired compromised immune system!  3. If I get sick, I will plan on losing my mind and crying and whining and generally not trying to be pleasant. But I’m not going to get sick. I CAN’T get sick right now. 4. Friend’s status messages on gmail chat about the impending test. Duh. We all KNOW. And if someone doesn’t know you have a HUGE test coming up in your life and they start chatting with you, perhaps you should not even have them on your dang chat list. At least I’m not on facebook though, with almost everyone else in my class. 5. I do not want random texts from random people asking me to do things for them right now. I don’t care if you want my study materials from the last few years of school. You KNOW I have a test coming up. Ask me the day after and I might consider sending them to you. For asking now, I’m considering destroying the materials in a large fire and having s’mores to celebrate. 6. Random chatters in the Coffee Shop acting like they are the smartest people in the world. This always bothers me when I’m studying (actually, even when I am not) but really. You are NOT the smartest people in the world and your ideas are not new. Read Ecclesiastes.  7. Handsome made lunch plans with a friend. WHAT?! He thought I would be studying?! Hello, break down, this is Katie!( It is not his fault he had plans with a friend the ONE day that I actually want to get lunch together and the one day that I need emotional support). **************** Ha. So that is my list. I generally want to be upbeat and positive, but I thought this might be sort of amusing. In spite of these negative, minor irritations, I have to say I have gotten a lot of good encouragement too. Nice calming phone call from a friend. An short but positive encounter from another. Thoughtful encouraging texts from my mom. A surprise visit and much needed hug at the library from my man. Sweet continual reminders from the Lord in His Word that he has a plan and I need to trust him with this situation.  Just a matter of hours left. The countdown begins. This too shall pass.
 I'm here. And I'm (surprisingly) still writing.

Signs I'm Losing My Mind.

Generally, I think before I act. I think before I speak. I think about what I'm wearing before I leave the house. I think about what needs to be done before I do it. And there are many things I do automatically. But lately. Certain things, even automatic things, seem to evade me. For instance(s): I keep forgetting to put on my seatbelt until I'm already driving. I will make a glass of ice water, leave them, remember I'm thirsty, and make a new glass of ice water. I have tried to put my contacts in after they already are in.  I look for my phone, keys, sunglasses, when they are in my hand. I start emails (and blogposts) and then forget what I was writing about. I buy fruit, put it in the refrigerator, and then not even three days later buy more of the same fruit, because I forget we have some until I get home and open the fruit drawer in the refrigerator.   I put on shorts in the a.m. that are probably only acceptable for sixteen year olds, Saturdays, or house painting, gather my belongings and head to school. Later realizing that what I am wearing, is probably not acceptable for public wear. and. I lose paperwork that I just wrote on. But even though I'm struggling through these silly life things, I think its okay. Because I think my brain is absorbing the other material that I need to learn for my test. I think about the different problems I might see and the definitions of things I need to learn. I am thinking on topics and strategies continually throughout the day. And in about two weeks, I'll hopefully return to normal functions after having passed my exam.  And at that point, it won't matter that I drove to the drug store, walked into the building and realized I probably meant to go to the post office or that I forgot to add soap to a load of laundry. Oops. Shhhh. Don't tell Handsome.  I'm here. And I'm still writing,  

Love Realized In The Drivethrough.

The sun was shining and it was a Sunday and that is when I decided it would be a good time for a fight. I don’t know that I made the decision consciously actually, but I decided it somehow or another.

He had been a little edgy all day. Something about a conference coming up, a lot of changes to implement at work the next few weeks, not nearly enough time on the golf course, and some continuing pain in his neck (that actually wasn’t me). It wouldn’t be difficult to push a little and get a reaction.

So I made my approach while he was writing an email, always the best time to begin a big discussion.

Hurtful words. Raised voices. And a bit of aggravation, but no satisfaction, in my heart.

We took a time out. Just like parents do with children, a moment of separation, of head-clearing, a time for reflection. I quickly realized the error of my ways in the provocation, he quickly realized how he didn’t intend to become so quickly frustrated, and we apologized. We forgave. We moved forward.

I’m not sure what I had set out to do, because who really, actually, wants to start a fight on a Sunday afternoon? I think the lack of anything but books (and not the dramatic, captivating kind) had driven me to push and prod. I think I sort of wanted to have a bit of actual drama. So at least I could feel something other than a tired brain. And like something other than this test matters.

We kissed and hugged and he headed out to meet a friend.

I got in the car. Turned on the keys and started in the direction of my usual caffeine fix. Soy latte. Iced. Because it’s all the better for studying. And after my unsuccessful start to the afternoon, I knew it was time I got myself into action.

We had already reconciled. Peace was with us. But something struck me as I drove.

He can yell. He can fight back when I provoke. He can ignore me and never again take out the trash. He can hurt my feelings. Or he can buy me a “just because” gift on Saturday and cook me dinner so I can study. He can write me the sweetest card I have ever read as encouragement to me to keep pressing on.

But not one bit of it affects how much I love him. I love him when I’m mad. I love him when I’m sad. I love him if he hurts my feelings or doesn’t speak in gentleness. I love him when he is angry. I love him when he struggles.I love him when we watch movies in our pajamas. I love him when he holds my hand in church. I love him every single moment of every single day. What he does, has no effect on my love for him.

And then it hit me. In a bigger way than I think I have ever really grabbed onto before. God loves me so much more than that. Right there in the drivethrough at the coffee shop with a sliver Toyota Tundra and a tatoo'ed man in front of me. He loves me when I read my Bible. He loves me when I act as a loving wife. He loves me when I honor my parents. He loves me when I call out to him in desperation. He loves me when I speak angrily towards others. He loves me when my life does less than bring glory to his name. He has loved me through each and every moment of my being. He loved me even when I was not redeemed.

Oh how thankful I am, Father, that you gave me such a great understanding of your love for me today. For loving me through all the breaths of my life. And thank you for marriage. For love, for forgiveness, for a picture of you in this daily living.

I'm here. And I'm still writing,

Listed Thoughts.

Grilled cheese and sliced avocado = delish. Missing Handsome's softball game to study = sadness.  Loud talkers during pedi = dang it.  Days before test decreasing = anxiety. Idea of vacation = bliss. Waiting on news = trust. Trusting the Lord's plan = peace.  Memories of a day spent spray painting the youth basement = fondness. Breakfast with my favorite person = joy. Friends to study with = thanksgiving.  Finishing and beginning a new chapter = life. 

Good Choices.

Waking up before the world starts.

 

Tennis Shoes, a long sleeved tissue tea, and a pair of shorts.

An early morning walk near a quiet wilderness area by my house. 

A stop at the little cafe by school to fill up at their "oatmeal" buffet bar and a soy latte.

Blueberries, granola, fresh non-instant oats, and slivers of almonds.

A fresh perspective and a bit of concentration.

A productive and encouraging day for studies.

Isn't it amazing how just starting with one good choice in the morning can lead to more good choices throughout the day...

I'm here. And I'm still writing,

When Do Ostrich Bury Their Head in the Sand?

Well.

So much for that plan.

I'm tired.

I'm busy. 

I'm stressed. 

Adding one more thing, one more expectation on myself right now is doing the opposite of what I thought it would. 

Instead of feeling like I can blog a couple of times as mental relief, I have been feeling that a schedule (at this time) is just not feasible for me. 

My creativity hits a complete Berlin-type wall whenever I open a blank post page.

Nothing gets out of my brain. Actually all thoughts just disappear but not to any place where I can find them. Or make sense of them.

What is funny though is that at moments, I'm enjoying this period. This studying. Maybe because it could very well be the last time I study ever. And likely will be the last time I study intensely for at least seven or eight months.  Because, you know, I might want to go back to school or something.

I have been taking photos though and have good ideas for accompanying posts (or maybe the other way around). But... I haven't uploaded. 

And I have asked a couple of people (non-bloggers who read my blog) to write some friendly, compelling, comment (and thought) provoking posts... but no one has yet complied with my simple little request.

Perhaps, YOU want to? Okay good at least something will be going up. Thanks for volunteering blog readers.

 
So I guess that sort of makes me a lame blogger. And I really don't like writing these posts that are full of excuses. I'd rather write a post asking you for questions (so I could reply to them, because I have always wanted to do that) but then I get nervous that you don't want to participate. Or I could write a post about how I'm living healthy but I have a photo I want to show you for that. And then I could sum up our past weekend (before we hit another one) and share my experiment with the fireworks scene setting on our camera, but once again, photos are not uploaded.

So instead I complain. And whine. And make excuses for blogging lameness.

Because that is sooo much easier than uploading photos, right?

Anyway. I'm here. And I'm not really writing, but I hope to be soon. Though, it won't be on a schedule. Forget I ever said anything about that. 

 

 

Oh, and in case you are interested: I feel like burying my head in the sand out of blogging shame. LIke I should just shut down the operation, except that I know this period, too, shall pass and then I'd be sad. But in naming the post, I wondered to myself if Ostrich do bury their head in the sane and WHY they would do such a thing. And I was delighted to find this lovely website that contains a wealth of information on the flightless bird. Yahoo! Kids. Who knew?

 

The Month And Days Ahead.

Hi for real today. I am coming to you from the comfort of my parents house again. Good times in my opinion. Handsome and I will be celebrating the holiday weekend by getting in the pool, studying for one of us, golf ing for the other, and good food eaten by us both I hope!!

My posting plan for the month of July is to shoot for three times a week. Once on Monday. Once on Wednesday. Once on Friday. I have to establish some blogging boundaries for myself so that I will primarily spend my time studying and not so much dreaming up posts. I think by setting myself out there like this I will not feel pressure to blog but also so I won't go overboard either.

I would appreciate your prayers for my studying periods: that I will concentrate well, retain information, and set myself up to pass. As soon as I get through this period of studying my blogging about studying will cease. And that is a promise you can take to the bank for at least one semester.

so now that we are in the same page, I'll be seeing you Monday. Have a lovely holiday celebrating our freedom, reflecting on those families who have sacrificed family time for it, and thanking the Lord for the blessing we have in being able to freely worship him as

Americans.

I'm here. And I'm still writing,

A Moment of Silence.

Thoughts. And Prayers.

A Friendly Little Guest.

Warning: What follows below in this post may not be suitable content for all readers. Those easily frightened or uncomfortable with nature are dually warned. Readers and viewers should proceed with caution.  Sitting on the patio at one of the coffee shops in my city qualifies as a really good moment in my book.
Sitting on the patio at one of the coffee shops in my city with my handsome man is completely idyllic in my world. 
Sitting on the patio at one of the coffee shops in my city with my handsome husband and a cute little animal was fabulously entertaining and flat-out enjoyable on a Saturday afternoon recently.
See what I mean?

 It seems that the little mouse is a big fan of fancy coffee. Or at least of some quality pastry.  

 I'm here. And I'm still writing,  

The Battle That Continuously Wages And Is All The More Steady Now.

I'm engaged in a mini-battle right now. Not with my husband. Or with my mom. Or with any friends.

But with the clock on the wall and my stomach.

We all already know how much I like food. And we know how in the past some odd months, I've been posting recipes and talking about cooking. And writing about how excited I am about new dishes.

It's quite the wonderful hobby necessity to enjoy,  as it combines my love for something delicious with the art of being creative ! And its building a character trait: for once I started learning to plan ahead!

But right now. We are busy. And I'm tired. Handsome has a LOT going on at work. He is busy and is dealing with stress and his life is filled to the brim. And I. Well, I'm supposed to be studying and I am. And I'm working out.  And we have other obligations on certain nights of the week. And then we took that little mini-vacay. And things like laundry, and a dirty house, and fixing my hair happen. And by the end of the day, and actually at the beginning of the other, the food stuff just isn't happening.

I'd like to think I could keep it all together. Study. Work out. Wash hair. Dress cute. Start a load of laundry. Drop things off at the mailbox and run other errands. Study. Fix dinner. Study. Talk to Handsome. Go to bed. Get up. Repeat.

But that one part in the midst of Study and Study doesn't happen. (Okay, the dress cute and other stuff doesn't happen either but they are really secondary to nourishment). The "fix dinner" portion has started to become a very bit thorn in my side. Actually, not just "fix dinner", but more like all things food. Lunch, snack, and breakfast don't always happen . And I have a feeling its not going to get any better in the next five-ish weeks while my studying increases.

But food must happen in some form. Because 1. We can't eat out every meal. It's too expensive, it is even more time consuming than cooking, and honestly! it doesn't even taste that great! Once in a while is nice, but I need good food at home. I'd like it to be easily accessible, ready to go (sort of), and I want to be filled up

It's not that much to ask for right?

So this is my issue: what are some easy ways to get healthy-ish food ready quickly?

Even the "quick-fix" recipes I find take something like an hour when you add in clean-up and prep. Maybe I'm just a real slow cooker, but the point is that these quick and easy meals aren't working for me right now.

And I'm hungry. Cold cereal and a banana just won't do for each and every meal. While I have good ideas about easy snacks... (hummus and veggies, pb and apples, strawberries and chocolate pudding)  I'm just not sure how to consistently make meals that satisfy those other requirements with all of the busy-ness that is the summer of 2010.

Any ideas?

Thanks!

I'm here. And I'm still writing (hungry though I may be),

Two Disconnected Trains of Thought.

Every time I re-pack my heavy blanket away, it gets cold enough the next night to pull it back out again.
It is a funny thing that its cold enough at night to need the blanket but hot enough in the day to blast the AC. 
Even so, studying inside is over-rated.  But apparently only men sit on the patio at the coffee shop. 

Sunscreen is a lovely smell.
Tan lines establish the fact of a good summer.
Hiking was a new favorite last summer. Maybe we should do that again.
But really, nothing beats swimming laps in an outdoor pool.
..................
I'm not into "chick lit" as they call it.
I'm reading FR Her Mother's Hope as slooowy as possible to savor it longer.
I don't like stories or books to end because I get so attached to the characters. 
A good character has to live through ups and downs just like we do. 
When I was a very young child, I wondered if we were just characters that someone moved around. 
Pretty sure my Mom helped me out of that idea. 
I think it would be fun to name my children after characters. 
Actually, I would rather name the animals that way since I have ideas about all of our children's names already.
Assuming at some point we are blessed with children.
Not time for that yet.
.....................
I'm here. (And now that you have seen inside of my brain) I'm still writing...

MIA No More.

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Oh helloooooo!

I'm here.  Way down here!!

 Thanks for checking back in on me.

I haven't posted in a week, because life has completely filled our days to the max! And boy was it fun!

I had a slight computer dilemma that occupied my mind for about thirty-six hours at the end of last week, but fear not. It is completely solved now thanks to some generous family members. And once that was resolved... the good times started happening.

My favorite, and not just because he is my only, husband and I  took a little trip to Hometown to enjoy our families for Father's day. It was lovely. And getting in this....

for four days in a row was quiet wonderful as well. 

Thank goodness for distractions. Because, as you may recall, I'm in the midst of studying. I have that little licensing exam approaching in a few short weeks. I'm trying to continuously motivate, but when productivity waned, Handsome and I both thought a little jaunt out of town, a mini-vacay as you might call it, could benefit us both.

You see, he has been overloaded at work too and we had barely seen each other for weeks. No days, but days that felt like weeks.

And while I had intentions on studying on our getaway, my best attempts did not yield major results. It was a little difficult in Hometown with amazing tacos and salsa,  good bar-b-que , many family members, and this little guy distracting me...

That is my parents dog Gus if you haven't been here long. 

I love him like he is my own. 

But it was all so worth it!

Now that we are back to our city, and life as usual... I'm back to blogging too as I no longer have the excuse of not being able to blog from my post as pool supervisor, so as to protect the laptop from the incessant splashing that is known to Handsome as FUN.

And you can bet your pretty smiling faces that the posts will be coming because blogger is oh, so good a distraction from the rigors of video lectures and online problems. 

So...

I'm here. And I'm still writing,

Resolving A Marriage Dilemna

Disclaimer for the Sake of the Marriage: Handsome is actually a very considerate sports and television watcher as he is married to one with very sensitive ears. He always turns it down when I ask and this is written with a sense of hyperbole.   So I had a post stewing about something that sounds like a swarm of mosquitos. About an incessant drone that has been permeating our house at random hours of the day since June 11.
I was going to complain about the headaches its caused. Talk to you about how I can fund my PTSD therapy through better blogging. And where I can get some of those television-watching headphones that women buy for their husbands on the fly. 
I  tried to talk to the Mr. about what was distressing me, and his only answer was that "its tradition. It's part of the culture. Part of the atmosphere." Like I should have already known. And why on earthy would I be asking?  I honestly think he believes it is fabulous and essential.
Out of desperation, I even took my question and concern to my fellow Softball-watching wives the other evening to see if they could give me some insight as to what it was and how to deal. No one knew. No one could answer. No one, apparently, suffers through cheers and gets another beer when their husband is watching television, because they didn't even know what I was talking about. They hadn't been subjected to it!
But then, during one of the regular television bonding sessions, all of my questions were answered thanks to the super adorable, Michelle Beadle, Who by the way, sounds so much like Andi Anderson, Kate Hudson's character in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, that I like her all the more! It finally had a name. It is called a vuvuzela and I'm behind the curve by only blogging about it now.  Even Prince William has gotten in on the fun.  (post script in the middle of the post: La, I'm sure I should have just emailed you! I hope you will still be my friend even though I can't listen to the traditional horn).    And by golly, something like 64% of America was on my side! (even though I can't find that exact poll and percentage right now). But the point is that, more people agreed with me that Vuvuzela's are too loud and should be banned than with Handsome that they are totally essential to the culture and atmosphere of the game. As Handsome just sat there mouth wide-open, with only the words: "I can hit mute next time I watch" I reaffirmed my commitment to television bonding in the form of ESPN (at least every once in a while).    Thus, my questions, my curiosity, my little mini-mute button battle with the Mr. was taken care of by my favorite Sports TV personality! 
I'm here. And I'm still writing,

Stuffed. In A Really Good Way.

Some of these 

 

Stuffed with a little of this

And arranged like so

Makes for a happy, delicious weeknight meal. 

Mmmm. 

Go ahead. You know you want some!   I'm here. And I'm still writing,