The Irritants Have Taken Residence.

So, not only am I losing my mind, but the littlest tiniest things are starting to bother me: See e.g.:  1. There are a LOT of walkers in our neighborhood. No problem. Except when its mom’s walking on the wrong side of the street with their strollers. Ride with. Walk against. Isn’t that the rule? 2. It is very hot in our house. Hot, sticky. Blah. But when I head out to air conditioned buildings they are overcompensating and I get so cold that I can’t feel my nose and it starts running. The temperature variations between my house, most places, and outside could make any normal person sick. How much easier this could happen to me and my tired compromised immune system!  3. If I get sick, I will plan on losing my mind and crying and whining and generally not trying to be pleasant. But I’m not going to get sick. I CAN’T get sick right now. 4. Friend’s status messages on gmail chat about the impending test. Duh. We all KNOW. And if someone doesn’t know you have a HUGE test coming up in your life and they start chatting with you, perhaps you should not even have them on your dang chat list. At least I’m not on facebook though, with almost everyone else in my class. 5. I do not want random texts from random people asking me to do things for them right now. I don’t care if you want my study materials from the last few years of school. You KNOW I have a test coming up. Ask me the day after and I might consider sending them to you. For asking now, I’m considering destroying the materials in a large fire and having s’mores to celebrate. 6. Random chatters in the Coffee Shop acting like they are the smartest people in the world. This always bothers me when I’m studying (actually, even when I am not) but really. You are NOT the smartest people in the world and your ideas are not new. Read Ecclesiastes.  7. Handsome made lunch plans with a friend. WHAT?! He thought I would be studying?! Hello, break down, this is Katie!( It is not his fault he had plans with a friend the ONE day that I actually want to get lunch together and the one day that I need emotional support). **************** Ha. So that is my list. I generally want to be upbeat and positive, but I thought this might be sort of amusing. In spite of these negative, minor irritations, I have to say I have gotten a lot of good encouragement too. Nice calming phone call from a friend. An short but positive encounter from another. Thoughtful encouraging texts from my mom. A surprise visit and much needed hug at the library from my man. Sweet continual reminders from the Lord in His Word that he has a plan and I need to trust him with this situation.  Just a matter of hours left. The countdown begins. This too shall pass.
 I'm here. And I'm (surprisingly) still writing.

Signs I'm Losing My Mind.

Generally, I think before I act. I think before I speak. I think about what I'm wearing before I leave the house. I think about what needs to be done before I do it. And there are many things I do automatically. But lately. Certain things, even automatic things, seem to evade me. For instance(s): I keep forgetting to put on my seatbelt until I'm already driving. I will make a glass of ice water, leave them, remember I'm thirsty, and make a new glass of ice water. I have tried to put my contacts in after they already are in.  I look for my phone, keys, sunglasses, when they are in my hand. I start emails (and blogposts) and then forget what I was writing about. I buy fruit, put it in the refrigerator, and then not even three days later buy more of the same fruit, because I forget we have some until I get home and open the fruit drawer in the refrigerator.   I put on shorts in the a.m. that are probably only acceptable for sixteen year olds, Saturdays, or house painting, gather my belongings and head to school. Later realizing that what I am wearing, is probably not acceptable for public wear. and. I lose paperwork that I just wrote on. But even though I'm struggling through these silly life things, I think its okay. Because I think my brain is absorbing the other material that I need to learn for my test. I think about the different problems I might see and the definitions of things I need to learn. I am thinking on topics and strategies continually throughout the day. And in about two weeks, I'll hopefully return to normal functions after having passed my exam.  And at that point, it won't matter that I drove to the drug store, walked into the building and realized I probably meant to go to the post office or that I forgot to add soap to a load of laundry. Oops. Shhhh. Don't tell Handsome.  I'm here. And I'm still writing,  

Listed Thoughts.

Grilled cheese and sliced avocado = delish. Missing Handsome's softball game to study = sadness.  Loud talkers during pedi = dang it.  Days before test decreasing = anxiety. Idea of vacation = bliss. Waiting on news = trust. Trusting the Lord's plan = peace.  Memories of a day spent spray painting the youth basement = fondness. Breakfast with my favorite person = joy. Friends to study with = thanksgiving.  Finishing and beginning a new chapter = life. 

Good Choices.

Waking up before the world starts.

 

Tennis Shoes, a long sleeved tissue tea, and a pair of shorts.

An early morning walk near a quiet wilderness area by my house. 

A stop at the little cafe by school to fill up at their "oatmeal" buffet bar and a soy latte.

Blueberries, granola, fresh non-instant oats, and slivers of almonds.

A fresh perspective and a bit of concentration.

A productive and encouraging day for studies.

Isn't it amazing how just starting with one good choice in the morning can lead to more good choices throughout the day...

I'm here. And I'm still writing,

When Do Ostrich Bury Their Head in the Sand?

Well.

So much for that plan.

I'm tired.

I'm busy. 

I'm stressed. 

Adding one more thing, one more expectation on myself right now is doing the opposite of what I thought it would. 

Instead of feeling like I can blog a couple of times as mental relief, I have been feeling that a schedule (at this time) is just not feasible for me. 

My creativity hits a complete Berlin-type wall whenever I open a blank post page.

Nothing gets out of my brain. Actually all thoughts just disappear but not to any place where I can find them. Or make sense of them.

What is funny though is that at moments, I'm enjoying this period. This studying. Maybe because it could very well be the last time I study ever. And likely will be the last time I study intensely for at least seven or eight months.  Because, you know, I might want to go back to school or something.

I have been taking photos though and have good ideas for accompanying posts (or maybe the other way around). But... I haven't uploaded. 

And I have asked a couple of people (non-bloggers who read my blog) to write some friendly, compelling, comment (and thought) provoking posts... but no one has yet complied with my simple little request.

Perhaps, YOU want to? Okay good at least something will be going up. Thanks for volunteering blog readers.

 
So I guess that sort of makes me a lame blogger. And I really don't like writing these posts that are full of excuses. I'd rather write a post asking you for questions (so I could reply to them, because I have always wanted to do that) but then I get nervous that you don't want to participate. Or I could write a post about how I'm living healthy but I have a photo I want to show you for that. And then I could sum up our past weekend (before we hit another one) and share my experiment with the fireworks scene setting on our camera, but once again, photos are not uploaded.

So instead I complain. And whine. And make excuses for blogging lameness.

Because that is sooo much easier than uploading photos, right?

Anyway. I'm here. And I'm not really writing, but I hope to be soon. Though, it won't be on a schedule. Forget I ever said anything about that. 

 

 

Oh, and in case you are interested: I feel like burying my head in the sand out of blogging shame. LIke I should just shut down the operation, except that I know this period, too, shall pass and then I'd be sad. But in naming the post, I wondered to myself if Ostrich do bury their head in the sane and WHY they would do such a thing. And I was delighted to find this lovely website that contains a wealth of information on the flightless bird. Yahoo! Kids. Who knew?

 

The Month And Days Ahead.

Hi for real today. I am coming to you from the comfort of my parents house again. Good times in my opinion. Handsome and I will be celebrating the holiday weekend by getting in the pool, studying for one of us, golf ing for the other, and good food eaten by us both I hope!!

My posting plan for the month of July is to shoot for three times a week. Once on Monday. Once on Wednesday. Once on Friday. I have to establish some blogging boundaries for myself so that I will primarily spend my time studying and not so much dreaming up posts. I think by setting myself out there like this I will not feel pressure to blog but also so I won't go overboard either.

I would appreciate your prayers for my studying periods: that I will concentrate well, retain information, and set myself up to pass. As soon as I get through this period of studying my blogging about studying will cease. And that is a promise you can take to the bank for at least one semester.

so now that we are in the same page, I'll be seeing you Monday. Have a lovely holiday celebrating our freedom, reflecting on those families who have sacrificed family time for it, and thanking the Lord for the blessing we have in being able to freely worship him as

Americans.

I'm here. And I'm still writing,

MIA No More.

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Oh helloooooo!

I'm here.  Way down here!!

 Thanks for checking back in on me.

I haven't posted in a week, because life has completely filled our days to the max! And boy was it fun!

I had a slight computer dilemma that occupied my mind for about thirty-six hours at the end of last week, but fear not. It is completely solved now thanks to some generous family members. And once that was resolved... the good times started happening.

My favorite, and not just because he is my only, husband and I  took a little trip to Hometown to enjoy our families for Father's day. It was lovely. And getting in this....

for four days in a row was quiet wonderful as well. 

Thank goodness for distractions. Because, as you may recall, I'm in the midst of studying. I have that little licensing exam approaching in a few short weeks. I'm trying to continuously motivate, but when productivity waned, Handsome and I both thought a little jaunt out of town, a mini-vacay as you might call it, could benefit us both.

You see, he has been overloaded at work too and we had barely seen each other for weeks. No days, but days that felt like weeks.

And while I had intentions on studying on our getaway, my best attempts did not yield major results. It was a little difficult in Hometown with amazing tacos and salsa,  good bar-b-que , many family members, and this little guy distracting me...

That is my parents dog Gus if you haven't been here long. 

I love him like he is my own. 

But it was all so worth it!

Now that we are back to our city, and life as usual... I'm back to blogging too as I no longer have the excuse of not being able to blog from my post as pool supervisor, so as to protect the laptop from the incessant splashing that is known to Handsome as FUN.

And you can bet your pretty smiling faces that the posts will be coming because blogger is oh, so good a distraction from the rigors of video lectures and online problems. 

So...

I'm here. And I'm still writing,